Forgiveness
Forgiveness
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” (Colossians 3:13 KJV) Forgiving is something that God calls to do, but He knows it is difficult for our human flesh to do so. I know that I (Natalee) Have trouble with forgiving, especially when it comes to forgiving my siblings. It can be very difficult to forgive others, especially if they have wronged us very badly, but the Bible says that we should forgive, just as Christ has forgiven us! “But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-28 KJV)
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness… the words that come to mind when I (Aly) think of this word, are: moving on, understanding and love. Now let me explain a little bit...
Moving on: Whenever someone does a wrong against you, don’t dwell on it. You should truly forgive them and move on as friends, family etc.
Understanding: Let’s say someone were to run into you at a grocery store (on accident of course) and they were to apologize and you would have to be understanding that the fact that accidents happen and you’ve probably done the same thing before.
Love: If a close friend were to promise that they would do something for you and then they forgot. And down the road they asked for forgiveness, even though it was something you were really looking forward to. You should love them enough to overlook and know that people forget and you would want them to act the same way toward you if you forgot something.
How Do We Forgive?
As I (Natalee) stated in the introduction, forgiving others can be a very difficult thing to do, especially for our sinful human flesh. God calls us to forgive, just like He continuously forgives us for our sins. According to Merriam- Webster Dictionary, to forgive is “to cease to feel resentment against.” Why do we have to forgive? Why can’t we just go on about our lives being angry at someone forever for something that they did? Well, the Bible states, “But if ye do not forgive, neither will your father in heaven forgive your tresspasses.” (Mark 11:26 KJV) In other words, if we are not willing to forgive someone else for one thing that they committed against us, the Lord will not forgive us for the many things we’ve done against Him. This is not saying that God will not save us if we’ve ever held a grudge against anyone. The verse is just saying that by holding these grudges, our relationship with Christ can be damaged. As Christians, we must be an example to non-believers. If they do something wrong against us, and we do not forgive them, we are not showing the light of Jesus as God has called us to do. Another passage states, “ Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32) Another way that we can move the forgiving process forward is by talking to the person who wronged you, and even praying for that person.. James 5:16 KJV states, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
Why We Should Forgive
I’m sure that a lot of people struggle with “Why should I forgive this person after everything they’ve done”. I (Aly) know I struggle with it sometimes, but think about it this way… If Jesus could come to earth as a baby and grow up to one day die on the cross for EVERYONE on this earth sins’ I think we can forgive someone for whatever they did. I know that whenever I’m struggling to forgive someone, I think about that and whatever they did seems pretty small compared to what Jesus did. Another reason you should forgive someone is like Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” Everyone on this earth is a sinner and whenever you sin you’re gonna want your friends, family and acquaintances to forgive you just like they want you to forgive them.
So whenever you just can’t seem to forgive someone look back on this verse to help you through it:
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:32
When should we forgive?
Whenever someone does something to offend you… Forgive them! Whenever someone hurts you mentally or physically… Forgive them! Whenever someone does something wrong to your family, friends, maybe even country… Forgive them then too! Anytime you have “hard feelings” against someone because of something they did, we need to forgive them for whatever it was. How long should we wait until we forgive the other person? Well whenever Jesus was dying on the cross He said, “...Father, forgive them;...” -Luke 23:34 KJV. He forgave the people killing Him,/ while they were killing Him! So don’t wait a week or so before deciding to forgive someone. Forgive them right then!
How often should we forgive?
It is part of our human nature to do things that upset or hurt people, and need forgiveness. If someone does something to us over and over, continuously expecting forgiveness, should we forgive them? The answer is yes! We should forgive everyone no matter what they’ve done or how many times they've done it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “That is a lot easier said than done.” I know it is, and so does God! This is why He forgives us for the wrong things that we do. You might be thinking, “So if someone does me wrong a ton of times, I should still forgive them?” Yes! The Bible states,”Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22) So, we should never stop forgiving someone, no matter what!
Is forgiving the same as forgetting?
Like Aly and Natalee have already mentioned, It’s easy to get in the mindset that we shouldn’t have to forgive others. Although like we’ve already seen, we should ALWAYS forgive! No matter what! But does the Bible actually mean we have to forget what the person did, and not do anything about it? Of course not! Think of the worst thing someone has ever done to you. Now, do you think you could ever forget that? Chances are, you probably don’t. God expects you to forgive that person, and we hope that you have, but He never says that you have to forget what that person did and act like nothing happened. We’ve already seen that we are expected to give forgiveness and grace, but depending on the situation… things don’t always have to go back to normal. In fact the Bible says that “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.”- Proverbs 22:3 (KJV) Think of it like this. If I (McKenzie) told Natallee something personally, and then she went and told Aly, then I should still forgive Natallee. BUT I shouldn’t go and tell Natalee anything else I wouldn’t want Aly to know about, or at least not until she has gained my trust back (although in some cases trust may never be gained back). Why? Because if I “pass on”, then basicle the joke is on me! (Btw! This was just an example! Nothing happened between us three! Haha!) People will do you wrong, and we’re not saying you have to remember everything everyone ever did to you. Just keep in mind, forgiving doesn’t have to mean forgetting!
Let’s forgive like Jesus!
Forgiveness is something we hear pretty often, but kinda just push it to the side because we hear it so much. We can sometimes forget the actual meaning and why we are supposed to forgive in the first place. Now that we’ve been reminded what forgiveness is, how we can forgive, why we should forgive, and when we should forgive… Well… We can go and forgive! Maybe forgiving is easy for you and you don’t need to do this activity I'm about to share. On the other hand, some of you may find yourselves doing this often. Take a sheet of paper and write out everyone you haven’t yet forgiven and what they did. Pray that God will help you forgive these people! Go down the list and one by one forgive them. If you are having a hard time doing this, then maybe try writing out things you need to ask or have asked Jesus forgiveness for (It doesn’t matter who you are, you should have a pretty long list!) If God can easily forgive you for all that, then you should forgive each indiviously on the list. It may not be easy for you to forgive, but “You will never regret choosing to do things God’s way.”- Girl Defined Ministries